lenty of us do it. I am not unique, to be a full time working parent. It’s not easy, in fact some days it’s downright exhausting, but it’s worth it. I am so thankful to be able to do what I do every day. While I never want to be away from my kids, and I miss them while I’m at work, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Being a doctor is a calling that I have been drawn to as long as I can remember. And now I’m actually living that dream. Sure, not all days are glamorous, and yes I complain more than I should, but when I sit down to think about it, my profession is awesome. I have the honor of getting to know people in their best moments and in their worst moments. I have the ability to make real difference in someone’s life. Every. Single. Day. And my kids see this. Sure, they see me tired, stressed, worried, but I think beyond that they hear my stories, they see my triumph when one of my patients triumphs. They see my sadness when bad things happen. And isn’t that what life is about? Caring for others in their time of need?
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I know that my kids, though very young now, are learning important values from their working Momma. Learning that pursuing your passion is hard work, but worth it to live a life of purpose. My house is not as clean as I would like it to be. I have a long way to go in the organization department. And I have to do lists that literally started before my marriage and have yet to be completed. There are times I am going to forget that its “wear stripes or polka dots day at school”, and I need to get over that. Because in the end isn’t my child learning a bigger picture? That maybe that stuff doesn’t matter in the end. That they have love and friendship and food to eat.
My work makes me humble. When I see people at their worst, it always amazes me how resilient humans are. And I know I am no different. So I guess what I am trying to say is being a doctor mom is chaotic, its busy, its imperfect. But more than that it’s a beautiful blessing, and I am honored to get the pleasure to keep working at getting better at my dual role. I try to slow down and enjoy this ride. But, I’m sure I will still try to squeeze one more patient into an already (over) booked day, because they need to be seen. I will also try to sign up for every volunteer event and class party at my child’s school. And I will stay up way too late snuggling my baby because there are never too many snuggles at the end of a long day. And it will never be perfect, but it will always be my perfect chaos.